I've always known I was loved, I just didn't feel it.
Then I felt so loved, by someone who didn't love me.
It is confusing. But if you add it all up, it all works out.
This is why I don't believe in "the one"
but I understand how there is the one…
who was the final number,
the one that made it add up,
that solved the equation,
that balanced the books,
and led you to the answer,
or at least, an answer.
I don't know what you are supposed to do when your one isn't the one, when you've worked it out, but it doesn't work out...
Pretend that there is still a calculation?
Play dumb and deny all knowledge of any answer?
Randomly throw numbers around until you find another problem?
Tell yourself that it was the wrong answer and start again?
I don't know what you are supposed to do when you finish the test so early that you cannot leave yet, and you have double and triple checked your numbers, until checking becomes meaningless and just makes you feel bored and insecure.
I don't know what you are supposed to do, but I recommend sitting back into your chair, looking casually confident and completely content, making everyone else nervous.
When the time finally comes for you to free yourself, when you get up and walk away, you will find the kind of quiet that only comes with the end of the world or the start of the day. And you wonder, are you really the only smart-arse left? Are they all still inside pretending that there is something they need to work out...